Not That Big In My Life
by Silvite's Cry
Summary: He really seemed to know what he was doing... like a professional delinquent or something. It was interesting; even after the Game, Beat still did these things. It wasn't as if Neku was any better. multiple chapters
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: TWEWY AND ALL AFFILIATED CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME, BUT TO SQUAREENIX.**

**Cowritten with emotionalspazz (Neku).**

**AN: Please, please, _please_ do not judge the fic by this chapter. This is the "crime" to the rest of the fic's "punishment"; we are not condoning the usage of drugs in any way, shape, or form.**

**That said, enjoy.**

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Chapter One

Beat texted the other boy, telling him to 'hury up dat ass, rhyme aint gonna be gone 4ever' as he sought out the small bag of weed in his top drawer. Neku was supposed to be there five minutes ago, and he hadn't shown. The blonde liked to be punctual, and expected the same of others.

Those people at the train station had leisurely stepped onto the platform as if they didn't have places to be. As if _no one_ had places to be. Neku's run slowed to a quick walk as Beat's apartment building came into view. His phone buzzed in his pocket; Neku rolled his eyes, knowing who it was.

_hury up dat ass, rhyme aint gonna be gone 4ever_

Neku sighed and punched back a quick message.

_stfu, the train station was crowded. w slow ppl._

Beat raised an eyebrow, grinning upon finding the bag. Quickly he pressed the keys, sending him a message back: _k, let urself in_.

"Man, gotta get this shit rolled," he said, looking for suitable paper.

The elevator dinged. Neku quickly stepped out, glanced at the new text message, and traversed the halls to Beat's door. The brunet only knocked out of formality as he opened the door and took off his shoes.

Beat looked out of his room, grinning widely. "Yo, man! 'Bout to get awesome. You good?" He asked, motioning for the redhead to come in his room.

"Yeah." Neku shut the door behind him, taking off his socks for added measure. "But why'd you keep this such a secret?" There was some surprise that Beat had, and this entire time Neku (and Rhyme, apparently) had been left in the dark.

Beat sat upon his futon, finding a small water bottle and rushing to the kitchen to find some tin foil instead of answering the question immediately. He wasn't quite sure how to phrase it.

Neku blinked, still feeling a bit abandoned in the doorway. "W -- dude, where are you going...?"

Beat looked away, grabbing Neku's wrist. "Uh. Just gotta make sure everythin's in order, man. You, uh, want anything ta' drink...?" He asked, grabbing a roll of tin foil and opening the fridge.

_Beat_, making sure things were in... _order_? "Uh, water's fine."

"Aight, man," He said, filling up the water bottle to about the half-way point before getting out a cup for Neku, filling it with water and handing it to him. The blonde then started poking a large hole in the top, meticulous with his punctures.

"So..." Neku's brows furrowed together. "What are you doing?"

Beat remained silent, focused in his task.

A sigh. If Beat was actually quiet, then something was seriously happening here. But what was with the water bottle? Neku stood, waiting patiently.

"... Man, I've just been, uh... doing some whack stuff is all." Beat said, leaning on the counter, covering the pre-made opening of the bottle with a layer of tinfoil, making holes in the aluminum. "Rhyme wouldn't like it."

"What is it?" Neku said, wondering why he had to ask _yet again._

"Pot," Beat said under his breath, finishing up the holes in the foil. "Don't want Rhyme knowin'. She ain't gonna start."

Neku couldn't help but crack a smile at how Beat tried to keep it quiet Rhyme's absence. "Yeah."   Wait, then what was Beat making? "So, what's this? A... um... a b --" Yes, it started with a B. A b. Hmm.

"Bong, man." He said, sending a small smile towards Neku. Then a thought occurred to him. "Hey... wanna do it at the same time? Take th' hits, I mean?"

"How would you what with one bott -- er, bong?" Neku asked, eying the home-made marijuana dispenser.

"Two holes." He said, indicating the other side of the bottle. "Only if you wanna, though."

Hesitantly, Neku picked it up. The boy had smoked before, but he had never seen such a contraption. He had rolled his cannabis. "... How do you use it? Just... stick your mouth on the hole?"

Beat took the bottle, pointing to various parts with his index finger as he explained the process. "See, man, you put the weed up here, put your mouth on the hole. Then as smoke fills it up here," he pointed to the space between the water and the top of the bottle, "you suck in. This way you don't get ash and stuff in yo' mouth, hold in th' hit longer."

Neku gazed at it in fascination. How could something so crude and simple be so... ingenious? "... Huh. Whatever floats your weed, I guess. Eh, what the hell, sure."

Beat felt a slight warmth in the pit of his stomach; holy balls, he was gonna take a hit at the same time as Neku. That was like... kissing, or something. Kissing Neku. That didn't sound-- wait. No. Daisukenojo Bito was NOT gay.  ... But the idea was still cool, so he was gonna do it anyway. It's how he rolled. Rule of cool, man.

"Aight, man, sounds good." He said, beginning to cut the other hole.

Neku leaned forward a bit, eying Beat's work. He really seemed to know what he was doing... like a professional delinquent or something. It was interesting; even after the Game, Beat still did these things.

It wasn't as if Neku was any better.

As if hearing the tail-end of Neku's thoughts, Beat looked up at the skinny redhead. "Wait. You ever do any a' this too?"

"Yeah... it's been a while, though." It was a simple answer, like post-Game factors, including the absence of his headphones and surly look.

Beat nodded. "I dunno, man. I don't do it that much anymore, but t'day just felt right, I guess." He said. "Still don't want Rhyme knowin'."

"It's probably better that she doesn't," Neku said quietly.

Beat sighed, seeing that he was finished with his work. "Aight, man, 's now or never. You in?"

Neku nodded surely. "Yeah."

"'Kay." The blonde motioned for Neku to follow him into his room, where the bag of cannabis lay for the both of them on his futon, waiting patiently. "It's already ground up 'n stuff, just need to put it on, light it, and we'll take the hits. How much you plannin' to take in?"

Hits. Neku wasn't used to measuring in hits. "Hm." How much could fit into that little bottle, anyway? Neku decided to be daring. "... As much as you do," he confirmed, a hint of a devious smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Beat raised one eyebrow, putting a small amount of weed on the top of the bottle and fishing a lighter out from his cargo pants. "Man, you're small. You gonna fuck yo'self up if you do that."

Although, to be honest, Beat wanted Neku to take as much as he did. To see him like that would've been awesome.

"... That's right, you break walls," Neku mumbled. "I'll see how much I can take. No big deal, right?"

"Alright, man, just tell me when you can't take no more." He said, motioning for Neku to put his mouth on one hole.

... That _was_ a tiny bottle. Neku's mouth wouldn't be that far from Beat's. The thought made his pulse quicken -- just a bit.

Neku had always liked Beat -- 's company.

"You first," Neku decided.

"Nah, man. Same time." He said, putting his mouth on the hole facing him, lighter in one hand.

Neku nodded, awkwardly putting his own mouth on his own... hole. It felt kind of naughty, and not in the illegal drugs way.

The other boy could practically taste Neku's breath... it was warm, distracting. Quickly, Beat angled the lighter so that Neku's hair wouldn't catch on fire, striking it and lighting the cannabis. The smoke dispensed into the bottle, and Beat began to suck in.

The flare of flame startled Neku, distracting and delaying him. Quickly, he realized that this was his cue. The teenager started sucking up what he could, blushing a bit at his close proximity to his friend.

Ah, now this was a familiar sensation. Beat quickly closed his lips, holding in the smoke for a few seconds before exhaling slowly, away from Neku's face. Second hit; Beat put his lips to the bottle again, waiting for Neku.

Damn, Beat was waiting on him. But Neku kept his lips obstinately shut, wanting to hold it in for longer in his little lungs. This had always been the troublesome part of marijuana. Reluctantly, he let the smoke escape his lips and pressed them to his section of the bottle.

Beat grinned, wordlessly challenging the boy to hold in the smoke as long as he could. They took another hit, held it in; Beat smirked over at Neku, showing no signs of release.

Neku narrowed his eyes, keeping his face completely level, completely still. His gaze didn't wander from Beat's. Seconds blithely skipped into a minute; Neku's lungs began to hurt, his head starting to ache. He could feel a sort of lump forming in his upper chest as his countenance faltered, cheeks becoming redder and redder.

Beat could feel that Neku was getting uncomfortable, and he wanted to get the next few hits out of the way; he wasn't gonna do that without him, though. In defeat, Beat released the smoke he was holding in, leaning over towards Neku to see if he was alright.

Something jumped in Neku's chest as Beat got that much closer -- he gasped, then coughed a bit, choking on the smoke that had been trapped inside.

The blonde's eyes widened in alarm as he put down the bottle. "Hey, you alright, man?" He asked, concerned.

Neku nodded enthusiastically, tearing up like he did whenever food went down the wrong pipe. "F-fine."

As if acting on impulse, Beat brushed away the tears from Neku's face. "Aight, then you... uh... ready for the next one...? I dunno, 's only if you wanna..."

Heart fluttering pleasantly at the contact, Neku gave Beat a quick, "'course." He took the initiative and pressed his mouth to the bottle again.

Beat shrugged. "Remember, man, exhale when you feel like it, aight?" He said, planting his lips on the bottle and lighting it once again.

As soon as the smoke began to billow about, Neku inhaled, covering his nose so that he could get as much as he could handle -- without depriving his friend, of course.

Beat sucked in what he could, laughing to himself as he saw Neku's move. He was good, he was. And he was beginning to feel a little light...

If Beat was only _beginning_ to feel the effect, then Neku could already feel his head buzz. Well, not _buzzing_. No, his head was not a bee. Heh... bees for heads. Funny stuff. The boy licked his lips as he parted from the bong, looking down at Beat's futon in _intense concentration_.

Beat released the smoke after a few moments, grinning to himself and looking at Neku. He looked-- dare he think it-- cute like that, concentrating so hard.

Neku was able to maintain that look for a few moments. Wow, it was pretty quiet, he noticed. The boy couldn't hold back a snort of laughter -- the smoke spilled from his lips, leading his little uncharacteristic giggles. His smile widened and his eyes shut, creating a visage of the epitome of mirth.

Beat raised both eyebrows this time, grinning. "Man, you... you." He said, shrugging, putting his lips on the bottle once again. Given Neku's size and weight, he was probably already way past what the blonde was feeling.

"What?" Neku almost whined challengingly. A challenging whine -- quite the feat. Biting back giggles, he pressed his lips to the bottle. Like kissing it. Like kissing Beat. Mmmm.

Light it again, again, again, _again_... soon, the weed was gone after maybe seven, eight hits, and Beat was feeling it run through his system. He could feel the blood rushing through his body, his cheeks flush slightly as he exhaled that final hit, as he looked at Neku. Carefully, he put down the bottle, just incase they decided to smoke some more later. He had no idea when Rhyme was getting home, and frankly, he didn't really care.

No, no, keep the last hit. Don't laugh, he told himself. Conservation was _serious business._ Serious fucking business! He couldn't even focus his eyes... everything seemed cut into shapes, like he was looking through a chicken-wire fence. The fabric of Beat's sheets seemed to slide underneath him. Neku wasn't sure what the color of his face was at this point, and frankly, he didn't really care.

"Man," Beat said, going up to Neku and pressing against him (his face seemed... blue...? It wasn't good, he knew that even now), lips against the corner of Neku's. "Just let it out. Or you could share."

A very visible, obvious shiver shot through Neku at the touches. Oooh, Beat's lips were right there. They probably weren't soft like girls' lips. He probably had hard ones. Chapped, maybe? Manly lips. Haha, manly lips. Neku decided to find out, parting his lips just enough so that he could exhale the concoction of THC and irrelevant chemicals into his friend's mouth.

Beat breathed in as Neku breathed out, taking in the smoke and practically feeling his brain cells explode. It felt... nice... Neku's lips on his. They were firm, yet soft. He couldn't really describe it, but he could press a little harder against Neku. He could discern the difference in taste; smoke from Neku's mouth tasted a little sweeter, somehow. Don't ask him how it all worked.

Neku pulled back for air just slightly, wrapping his arms around Beat's shoulders as he went in for the renewed kiss again. He was positively _purring._

Aw, fuck it all. Beat could be gay if it was for Neku. He pressed against the smaller boy, one calloused hand running up and down his spine, taking in the feel of every bump and groove along his skin. His fingers tingled with the sensation of fabric brushing against him; his head was swimming, focused only on Neku.

The brunet's back arched, the touch dazzling to his senses and almost ticklish. It elicited muffled giggles into Beat's mouth. His heart rate accelerated despite his lagging reflexes and thought processes as the taller teen's body came in contact with his own.

Beat contemplated running his tongue over Neku's bottom lip; the smoke tasted amazing, what's to say that the rest of him didn't as well? In an uncharacteristically shy manner, Beat pressed his tongue to the other boy's mouth, asking for entrance.

Neku _moaned_ and un-Neku-ish moan, letting his lips part for Beat. A shiver wracked his body again, this time having a landing point in a rather distinct area of his pelvic region.

His assumption was correct; Neku didn't really have a distinct taste, per se, but what he could taste felt amazing on Beat's tongue. Hungrily he deepened the kiss, a low moan leaving his throat and vibrating in Neku's mouth.

Neku opened his mouth, emitting a soft, content purr once more as he let his tongue do what it pleased -- what this was, Neku was not quite sure; he was, in fact, barely aware of himself.

After a too-long moment, Beat broke the kiss, his face flushed, eyes glazed over, a relaxed smile on his face. "Dude..." He mumbled, pressing his forehead to Neku's, looking in his bright blue hues.

The boy in question had a visage that was the epitome of intoxication. His eyes, though still bright, were glazed and unfocused. His eyelids struggled to stay apart against the lovely prod of _relaaaxation_. Above all, an enormous, goofy grin decorated his facial features, crooked and content. "Yeeeah?"

Beat chuckled. "Man, yo' fuckin' hot... shhh, don't tell anyone." He drawled, smirk on his features. "'s a seeeeecret. Can't let Neku know, 'kay?" His fingers somehow found themselves on Neku's thigh, stroking through fabric.

Neku purred, letting his eyes fall shut. His thighs opened for Beat's hand, tingles lazily crawling about him, reveling in the simple contact. "Haaaha... who's Neku...?"

"Dunno, man, you... uh... want me to keep this up...?" Beat asked, tilting his head, eyes half-lidded. He could go either way.

A giggle. _More giggles._ Easily Neku could have mistook himself for a certain ash-haired Composer, with the distinction that his giggles were of genuine -- well, intoxicated -- amusement. He fell against Beat, humming contently as he buried his face into his friend's shoulder, feeling every fiber of his clothing and every degree of warmth.

Beat ran his hand up and down Neku's thigh lazily, enjoying the warmth of his friend. Partner. Something. He didn't know.

A muffled whimper was uttered into Beat's shoulder. "D-dude... dude... dude... you're gonna me make-- gonna -- gonna make me -- gonna -- jizz my pants..."

"You wanna do that, man?" Beat asked in a low voice, shifting his head so that his breath skirted over Neku's neck.

Neku's head emerged from the junction between Beat's neck and shoulder. The blithe grin was replaced with a countenance of repressed ecstasy -- brows furrowed, cheeks flushed deep crimson, lips parted in a whining, "yeah..." All Beat had to do to confirm Neku's want was to simply look down at the need that tented his pants.

Beat blushed slightly, moving his hand to the bulge in Neku's pants and stroking up and down, up and down. Fuck, Neku was really hot like that. Mmmhmm. Not just the pot talking, no no sir.

Neku bit his lip, grabbing at Beat's muscled arms. Blunt nails grazed the skin. A soft, drawn-out cry escaped the smaller teen, his aching arousal throbbing underneath the blond's strong hand.

"B-Beat... Beat, Beat, Beat..."

"J-just like that, man," Beat said, once again pressing his forehead to Neku's, keeping himself steady as he stroked Neku through his jeans at a slow pace. He felt heavy yet light at the same time, and was convinced that everything happening around him was just part of the high.

The smaller boy's entire body twitched and trembled, every nerve of his body fired and shoved the tingles throughout with a nitrous of THC. His breathing had no slow; eyes opened to give Beat his saddest, begging-puppy look, his visage having 'take me now' written upon it in graffiti of CAT's best style.

Alright, that expression was _way_ too hot to be a hallucination. Beat, with some difficulty, undid the zipper to Neku's pants and slipped one hand in, fingers wrapping around his friend's cock and stroking quickly.

Poor Neku's entire body practically _convulsed_. "B-Beat -- a-aah -- Beat!" The boy's voice rose uncharacteristically higher in pitch and more pleading in tone. "Beat, B-Beat, I --" A small gasp. "I-Iloveyou, B-Beat --"

Beat nodded in response, too focused on his task to say a word, stroking the boy faster, faster, faster. He enjoyed the sounds and words spilling from Neku's mouth; hell, it felt as if everything between them were just... melting, they were going to be closer than partners in just a few moments, and _fuck_ if it wasn't the hottest thing ever.

Neku's blunt nails sought a grip in Beat's skin as the brunet's body stiffened, skinny thighs quivering, balls tightening. Neku saw colors, a veritable _rainbow_ and all of the shades in between as thick white spilled in bursts onto Beat's hand. Each shiver, tingle, burst of warmth dispersed about the boy's body, shutting his throat and quieting him for a few moments as sweet release overwhelmed him.

Beat took in the sight, eyes wide, able to see every minute detail of Neku's body as he came. He wasn't averse to the feeling of Neku's seed on his hand, either; the brunette's warm, white essence felt pleasant to the blonde, and he actually contemplated licking it off for a brief moment before opting to grab a tissue from his bedside table. He watched Neku come down from his post-orgasm high, a lazy smile on his face all the while.

Eventually, the boy's body shuddered into a stuttered, slow sense of ease, like a train stopping at the station. He leaned against his more-than-friend, eyes shutting as he giggled -- _again_ -- while he figuratively floated about the vicinity.

Beat wrapped an arm around the brunette's waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world, holding him close and breathing in his scent. He smelled like smoke, like sex... he could get used to it. After a few moments Beat lost himself to his own high, loosely holding Neku as he stared out of the window, focusing on sunlight filtering in through his blinds.

"Oh Beat," Neku cooed. "You're so big and strong, satisfying my needs~." Then the brunet became quiet, much more serious. "Y'want something... uh, down there?"

Beat, admittedly, was half-hard... but still, he didn't want Neku to do anything he didn't want to. That wasn't cool.

"Only if you think I do, man." He said, smiling good-naturedly at Neku. "You wanna do stuff, you can, I ain't got nothin' 'gainst it."

Neku blinked, seeming lost in thought. There were various ways to reimburse Beat's help. Of course, being high, Neku chose the one that seemed more cumbersome.

Unthinking, Neku reached down and undid Beat's pants. He awkwardly scooted back, landing on his front in between Beat's legs as he tugged unnecessary fabric aside.

Beat's cheeks flushed with color, eyes wide. "Wo-woah, man, you, uh, sure 'bout that...?" He asked, finding even greater difficulty than normal in the task of stringing together sentences. Damn, he was hot.

Of course he was sure. At least, Neku thought he said that. He'd given oral to girls before -- how hard could it be for a guy?

The brunet's tongue slipped out for a tentative lick against the hard, warm flesh, and then Neku remembered -- guy's were hard. They _were_ different. They were not, in any way, the soft, flowery flesh of females.

And Neku found himself _liking_ that.

Beat took in a shuddering breath, composure far from the trained delinquent taking hits from a homemade bong less than an hour ago. Neku's tongue was warm, his breath hot... the sensation of pleasure blanketed Beat's senses as he tried to focus on Neku's face, Neku's mouth, just... Neku in general.

So Neku had an effect on Beat. The other boy's cock now tasted like victory. Clumsily, the boy propped his upper half on his elbows, leaning in to give casual, slow licks to the very tip of Beat's member, as though it were a popsicle. Mmm, Neku could go for a popsicle. But first...

Hot seemed to be synonymous with Neku in Beat's mind, especially with him propped up, licking his tip... he was stiffening quickly at the sight of the brunette's mouth, half-open and licking him. God_damn._

"Nnnn-- Neku..." He groaned, eyes half-lidded as he felt shivers shoot up and down his spine. Fireworks seemed to be going off in the back of his brain, and the sensation was only furthered by Neku between his legs.

Neku gave Beat one long lick before pulling his tongue back. "Yeah~?"

Beat gave Neku a long look, loaded with wanton, desire, need. "Y-you're fuckin' hot like that--" He managed to get out, stumbling over his words, addled with the combined high of chemicals and pleasure.

Still looking up at Beat with his big blue eyes, Neku slowly eased his parted lips over Beat's shaft.

"Fuuuuuuck--" Beat hissed between his teeth, sucking in a breath as he watched Neku tease him, tease him so _fucking good._ He wanted _more_, just couldn't _say it_, he couldn't _think_ and he was damn sure that Neku _knew that._

Neku pulled back just enough to lick his lips for lubrication before sliding his mouth onto Beat's shaft again. His tongue, unsure and inexperienced, wiggled about at the underside. Neku's heart swelled with the thought of pleasuring his friend, making him revel and writhe in the throes of pleasure, and so the boy did his best.

One hand fixed in Neku's hair, eyes half-lidded and glazed over. He wasn't good with words even when he was sober, what was he supposed to do when Neku was making those sounds and his tongue was moving like that and-- shit, he was already at full mast and he hadn't even been doing this for five minutes.

The feeling of Beat becoming harder in his mouth should have been disgusting... instead, it was a complete turn-on, seeing his friend lost like this. Neku closed his eyes, moaning an exaggerated, full moan against the sensitive flesh.

Yep, Neku knew the effect that he delivered, otherwise he couldn't have moaned like that on purpose. Maybe it was just the high. Either way, Beat didn't give a fuck-- even as far gone as he was, he still held his hips from thrusting into Neku's mouth. Had to make this comfortable. Uh-huh.

The boy tried getting his mouth lower on Beat's member, tried to get his lips to the base. It was a challenge, really -- Neku had the gag reflex of a little kid trying to stomach vegetables. Beat _was_ big... bigger than himself, anyway. Neku suddenly had the thought of the member in his mouth being somewhere else inside of him -- oh god oh god, how could a heterosexual boy think such a thought?! -- and whimpered.

"J-Just like 'dat, man--" Beat gasped, color high on his cheeks as he felt himself approaching orgasm. This... this wasn't gay, right? A blowjob is a blowjob... right?

Those were, more or less, the thoughts running through the blonde's head. Upon Neku whimpering, the thoughts promptly stopped, being replaced with a steady mantra of moremoremoremore_more._

A flush rose in Neku's cheeks. He pulled away from the flesh, licked his lips, and slowly eased his lips over it again. Another whimper escaped him as he attempted to quash his gag reflex.

Beat closed his eyes, a long low moan leaving his throat. "F-Faster--" He managed to get out, petting Neku's hair.

Neku felt his entire body melt at the simple touch. Without gagging, his lips just barely reached the other boy's base. He tried swallowing, pulling back and sheathing him again as though his mouth were the hot cave of a woman.

Beat let out a shuddering gasp, eyes completely shut, blood in his hands and feet rushing to arousal. God, he was gonna come soon, he knew it...

"G-gonna come, man--" The blonde managed to get out as a warning.

Neku squeaked, pulling back and -- oh goodness -- opening his mouth.

That. Sight.   Oh god.

High or not, that had to be the _hottest_ thing Beat had ever seen.

With that thought forefront in his mind, the blonde let out another low, shuddering gasp, seed bursting from the tip of his cock onto Neku's face, some landing in his mouth.

Neku's tongue flicked out like a cat's, catching seed on the very tip. Burst after burst of semen warmed his face and splattered onto his skin, some even sticking to his hair. The brunet didn't move an inch to avoid it.

Beat gathered his breath, unable to really feel his limbs. It felt... tingly. Yeah, that was a good way to put it. One eye opened to see Neku's face-- Neku's face covered in _him_--

Shit, if he didn't have a refractory period, Beat would have been hard all over again.

Like a tired little kitten, Neku leisurely licked his lips, eyes half-lidded. He let himself relax on his stomach, still in between Beat's legs and looking up at him expectantly.

Beat looked down at Neku, unaccustomed to seeing such behavior from his friend?lover?partner? Partner was good, yes. A smile eased its way onto his lips.  "You want anything, man?"

A slow blink and a tilt of his head later, Neku's cheek was resting against Beat's thigh. "Dunno."

Beat wasn't one to hold back what he was thinking. "You... uh... ever done any 'a 'dat before?" He asked, not feeling self-conscious about the question at all.

Neku's expression remained unchanged. "Nope."

Beat went down, remembering idly to get a tissue for Neku, wiping his face clean. "Di-didn't have ta' do all 'a 'dat, man." He slurred, smile still on his face, brown eyes glossed over.

Neku made an odd purring sound as Beat cleaned his face. "Meeeow," was his reply, leaning up to Beat's hand.

Beat laughed. "Dude... dude, you're so gone, like... woah..." The blonde trailed off, staring at Neku's skin. He really did take good care of it, that was obvious.

The boy butted his head against Beat's thigh, making a purring sound at the back of his throat. "I want food... meow."

"Aight, aight, let's get some." Beat said softly, taking Neku's hand and helping him up. Fuck. He did _not_ just stumble. And where were his pants...?

"Mmmmyaaaaaaah," Neku said with a giggle, rubbing up to his friend.

There they were... Beat pulled on his pants, fumbling to button them before holding Neku's waist. "Aight, let's... eat..." He just couldn't string together sentences, nope.

Neku giggled again. "Carry meee~, I am a kitty."

"D-dude, you actin' like Rhyme--" Beat said, easily picking up Neku and carrying him bridal style, trying his best not to bump into anything. The room seemed to be brighter, warmer than it was before. Mentally, Beat contemplated smoking another bowl in a while.

Neku squealed, giggling. " -- I mean, mroooow..." He curled up to Beat's chest, pressing his hands against his friend like a cat would to a person.

Beat laughed. "Dude... aight, kitchen." He said, putting down Neku and looking through the Bito pantry. "Think I got somethin' in here..."

For a few moments, Neku actually sat there. Then the boy became impatient, sliding onto the floor and crawling over to Beat on all fours. "Nyaaaaaan," he said like a demanding kitten, butting his head against Beat's leg.

Beat played along, laughing to himself as he reached down to pet his partner. Mmhmm, things were nice--

"Beat, are you home? Practice let out!"

Shit. Rhyme. She was probably taking off her shoes right now. When did the time slip by?

Neku blinked. He fell on his butt, wide-eyed, looking around for the source of the familiar voice. Finally, sluggishly, he stood, trying to be as rigid as possible, straightening his back in a fashion rather unnatural for him.

"Whatnow?" Neku whispered, standing stock-straight, eyes forward, like a soldier.

"Just be cool, man," Beat said, shaking his head, trying to put on a good expression. A few moments later, Rhyme came in.

"Oh... hi, Neku! I thought I saw your shoes at the door!" She said brightly, giving him a small hug. "Beat, you remembered to keep the place clean while Mom and Dad are gone, right?" She asked, looking to her brother.

Beat nodded hastily.   "Uh. Yeah. Yeah, don' worry 'bout it." He said, attempting to keep his tone even.

Neku relaxed considerably at Rhyme's touch, thin arms lightly embracing her in return. Mmm, she was so cute and soft and sweet. "Didja like them?" he mumbled in reference to his shoes. He bit his lip. No, no giggling. A single giggle would get Beat into trouble.

Rhyme tilted her head slightly at the odd question. Neku usually didn't ask if people liked his clothes...

"Um, yes! They're very... um... Neku." She decided on her answer, nodding her head. Beat used the opportunity to grab an unopened bag of chips.

"Well, uh, you got studyin' ta' do, Rhyme?" Beat asked, leaning on the counter. Rhyme parted from Neku, nodding.  "Mmhm. I'll do it in a bit." She answered softly, looking up at Beat, noting that his eyes... well, they weren't all there...

"Yyyyyou should... shouln't... shouldn't prorasticate -- uh, procrastinate," Neku urged. "The more you know..."

"Yeah, you're right! Knowledge is power... at least, that's what Minako-san said today..." Rhyme said, nodding in response to Neku's words. "Anyway, you two go on and do what you do, I'll stay out of your way."

"Aight. Thanks, Rhyme." Beat said, patting her head affectionately.

Rhyme giggled.  "No problem, Beat." She said softly, ushering the two boys out.

Neku felt triumphant somehow, having contributed to the girl's future study habits. The moment both of them were out of Rhyme's vision and earshot, he smirked.

Beat smirked over at him in response, leading Neku into his room and shutting the door behind them. "Smooth, man, smooth."

"Is that _sarcasm_?" Neku slurred.

"Maaaaaybe." Beat drawled, opening the bag of chips.

Neku peeked over at the junk food. "What kind are they?" He asked, picky as always.

"Shrimp," He said, putting one in his mouth and chewing. "S'good."

"Never tried it," he mumbled. Tentatively, he picked up a small crisp and bit into it. "... Eh, okay."

Beat pressed a crisp to Neku's lips. "Ya' get used to 'em."

Neku blushed. "You're feedin' me... mreow?"

"Mrow." Beat said lowly, crisp still pressed to Neku's lips.

Neku flicked the piece into his mouth, licking Beat's fingers for added effect.

Beat let a low flush cover his cheeks. "H-hey, man, Rhyme might hear," He mumbled, not really wanting him to stop. No, not after what had happened earlier.

_Crunch crunch crunch_ was the only sound Neku mad as he lay himself in Beat's lap.

Goddamn, he was cute. A small part of him seemed to say feebly that he shouldn't be having those thoughts, they had to be the gayest thing _ever_. Still... it was Neku, how could he say no?  
Comfortably, Neku nuzzled his face into Beat's hip, purring to himself.

"Mmm... we gotta go to school, man? This ain't... it ain't that bad, I like it like this..." Beat thought aloud, staring up at the ceiling, completely relaxed.

"Whywe gotta go 'school?" Neku mumbled, curling up without regard to the nature of the question.

"Nah, man, tomorrow. I think. I dunno." He said, statements trailing off. Another bunch of chips found their way to his mouth.

Neku smiled pleasantly, finding himself drifting off a bit until --

_ring ring ring_

"... Huh? Oh..." Neku reluctantly reached into his pocket, pulling out his ringing phone. "Uh..."

Beat looked down at Neku's cell. "Answer it. I dare ya."

"... Dare...? Uh, kay." Neku pressed the little green button, pressing the device to his ear a bit clumsily. "H-hello?"

_"Hey, Neku! It's Shiki! I didn't see you at practice today, where are you?"_

Beat looked at Neku, cocking one brow.

Neku swallowed. Suddenly, his mouth was rather dry. "Uh... atta friend'z. Yeah."

_"Friend? Who? I mean... no offense or anything, but you're not exactly a socialite... not that that's a bad thing!"_

"Who that?" Beat asked, shifting so that he was behind Neku.

_Shiki_, Neku mouthed. "Uh... w'll... we're upcatchin'. Uh, catching up. Don't worry about it."

_"Alright... Um, you sure that you're okay? You sound a little off..."_

Beat pressed his forehead against the nape of Neku's neck, waiting for him to get off the phone.

Neku shivered, biting back a gasp. "M'great," Neku said. "Just... distracted."

_"Distracted,"_ the voice on the phone quickly took on a skeptical air. _"Sure. Just who is it you're visiting again?"_

Beat held back a smirk, hot breath on the other's neck.

Neku bit his lip. "B-Beat... 'nyway I guess I'd better go..."

_"Uh, sure... see you tomorrow?"_ Shiki seemed taken aback, at least from what one could gather from her tone. She knew that Beat and Neku were friends, but for him to sound so off...

"M'bye." Neku slammed the phone shut and chucked in across the room in a startle.

Beat closed his eyes. "Dude, chill."

"Myeeeeeeeh... she figured it oooout," Neku whined.

"Chill, man. She don't know." Beat said reassuringly. Or at least, he thought that he said it as such.

"O-okay," Neku relented, closing his own eyes.

"... Dude, you want another bowl?" The blonde asked, opening one eye to look out at the other.

"Uhhh... maybee... think it's startin' to wear off..." Contrary to his hypothesis, Neku began munching again.

"We'll do it later, man." Beat said, nodding to himself, getting another handful of chips.

"But... I'll be too tired la'er."

"Wanna do it now, then? I got th' stuff, man." Beat said, getting the water bottle they had used previously.

"Mybe... maybe we shouldn' waste it. Maybe... maybe we could..." Neku trailed off, staring at the ceiling.

"What, man?" Beat asked, going over to his futon and sprawling himself over the sheets.

"Save it...?"

"Aight," Beat said, shrugging, putting the bottle underneath his futon.

"Maybe... we can... I dunno... s'so nice in here."

Beat propped his head up, feeling... well, he was feeling light. "Dude, c'mon, tell me what you want."

Neku lazily crawled over to Beat, draping his thin body along the blond's.

Beat let a smile rest on his face, letting Neku lay on top of him. "You good?"

"Mmhm.... yer warm."

"You too." Hell. He was gonna sleep at this rate.

Neku made a strange, childish sound of glee as he nuzzled Beat's neck. "M'tired."

"Le's just sleep, then, m'tired--" he yawned, as if to further his point. "too."


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: TWEWY AND ALL AFFILIATED CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME, BUT TO SQUAREENIX.**

**Cowritten with emotionalspazz (Neku).

* * *

**

Neku fumbled for his key, body heavy and eyes exhausted. Damn, how much had he taken? When he finally found it, he pushed the key into the lock. The second he twisted it, he heard a familiar female voice saying, "oooooh, Neku's in trouble!"

"Ugh," he grumbled, pushing open the door to his house before closing it rather noisily behind him. There was no point in being quiet now, anyway -- Midori had revealed him.

"When does the school day end, Neku?"

The tired teenager looked up to see his father, who had remarkably appeared out of nowhere, crossing his arms and staring intently down at him.

"... Four," he mumbled.

"And what time is it?" Sakuraba senior asked.

"... Nine," Neku replied, less audible than before.

"And when did you say you'd be home?"

Neku swallowed. "Six."

"And what makes a man, eh?" a hoarse old voice butted in. Neku would never know how old his grandmother was.

"... Honor." _And a penis_, Neku was tempted to add insolently.

"Dishonesty," Neku's father sighed. "Is one of the worst things to exist in a family."

Neku wasn't being dishonest... he had merely lost track of the time. He had no energy to bring this up, though... not with his stupid sister running circles around him. It was one thing for Neku to be yelled at -- his mother was good at that -- but this... this was always worse.

"Think about that next time you're out," Mr. Sakuraba said. He sighed. "You're not leaving the house this weekend until your homework is done... if I can't trust you to keep your word, then I can't trust you to keep to your duties."

God damn, his father took things way too seriously. It wasn't as though he had returned at one o' clock in the morning!

With that final word, however, Neku's father went back to his business.

"What _were_ you doing out there so long, anyway, boy?" Obaasan asked. "You find a cute little round-eyes who likes to party? Huh?"

Neku sighed. "Good night, Obaasan," he mumbled, easily weaving through the annoying nine-year-old and the wheelchair that held the voice of seething tradition.

:-:-:

Beat's situation, on the other hand, was hardly less awkward.

"I don't understand _why _there was a boy in your bed-- I don't even know what possessed you to think that it was alright to let someone in _while I was out_--"

His mother was livid. And she was gonna start using the big words soon, Beat just knew it. Rhyme was sitting on the couch next to him, looking much guiltier than her older brother.

"Raimu, I expected better of you, you _know _the history that your brother has when it comes to this sort of thing!"

"I-- um, Neku is a friend to both of us, he wasn't going to do anything wrong--"

"I don't _know_ that boy! He could have taken anything he wanted, so long as either of you let him! You just let your brother run rampant, he won't learn anything!" Minako Bito said, her voice increasing in volume. At that, Beat stood up.

"'Ay, stop talkin' like I ain't here! 'm hearin' everythin' you sayin', Ma, stop bitchin' at Rhyme like she done somethin' wrong!"

Rhyme's eyes widened, her hands tugging on Beat's shirt. "Beat, no, it's okay--"

"Don't you_ dare_ talk to me with such vulgarity! I won't have that in this house, do you understand me?!"

Beat stomped off. "Makin' somethin' bigger than it is, can't believe you," he muttered under his breath, slamming the door to his bedroom behind him, leaving his sister and mother in the living room.

:-:-:

Bed. Beeeeeeeed. Lazily Neku pulled open his futon, threw the covers upon it, and let himself fall over them.

Then Neku remembered how cold it was in December and sighed, hoisting himself up onto his feet again. There was no way he'd sleep well in such frigidity. The teenager dragged himself to his closet and tugged it open -- when had it become so heavy? -- to grope for his extra covers.

When he finally found them, he yanked them out, letting them tumble to the floor. Out of habit, Neku closed it, even though he was far too tired to expend such effort.

Finally, after such laborious processes, the blankets were spread just enough. Neku crawled beneath three layers of warmth and relaxed, closing his eyes. He grabbed his body pillow from nearby as an afterthought.

Finally, he could rest.

:-:-:

Beat sat upon his bed, head in his hands. He wasn't even aware that Rhyme had opened the door, wide blue eyes clearly concerned.

"Hey," she said softly, fingers curling around the edge of the door. Beat looked up, bleary-eyed.

"Hey, Rhyme," he said. He could feel that his body was sluggish, heavy. All he wanted to do was sleep... still, there was the matter of seeing why Rhyme was in here first.

"Um," she looked down, before looking back up. "Mom's not mad anymore. She just wants you to clean extra-hard and stuff for the next month. I explained things to her."

"Thanks, Rhyme." Beat said, motioning for her to come closer. She followed the request, stopping in front of her brother.

"Um... you wanted something?"

Beat pulled her in close. "Thanks again, aight? Sorry... 'm not all that great with her. I'll work at it." He mumbled loud enough for her to hear, one arm slipping around her torso. Rhyme nodded, choosing not to comment on his scent. It seemed out of place, somehow.

"Okay. Well... I'm gonna go to bed. Sleep well, Beat." She said softly, butting her forehead against his affectionately. Beat chuckled, returning the gesture.

"You too, Rhyme. See ya in th' morning."

After she exited the room, Beat promptly fell backwards, falling asleep in his clothes.

:-:-:

"Neku! Neku Sakuraba!"

Knock knock knock. Bang bang bang. Neku's head throbbed.

"It is two o clock in the afternoon! What gives you the right to sleep so much?! How dare you have the gall to come home late _and_ miss breakfast with your family! You open this door right now, young man!"

Neku's eyelids barely peeled apart to reveal sleepy blue eyes. Whatever else his mother was saying became an irksome buzz in the background. Dammit, he was so comfortable and warm...

"Alright, I'm counting! Five..."

Ugh, she was counting.

"Four..."

What was he, a toddler?

"Three..."

Maybe if Neku didn't move, she'd open the door for him.

"Two..."

It was like less punishment, almost.

"One..." The tone became more stringent, pressing. "Zero!" Loudly, the door opened to reveal Neku's mother -- the stout, steaming tea pot.

"You --"

Mrs. Sakuraba then got a good look at her son. The three covers were pulled up to his chin. His hair was disheveled, bits of gel still stuck in strands -- that was odd. Neku always took the time to wash out that hair product. His eyes were hardly open a fraction.

The woman blinked. "Hey... what happened, huh?"

:-:-:

Beat was simply lost to a world of sleep. His mother, a nurse, was never home during the day, no matter what day of the week it was. His father wasn't around. Rhyme left him alone, for the most part. He was still in the same position he was the night previous; sprawled across the bed, snoring away, disheveled and unkept. Two onigiri, put there by Rhyme a few hours before, were on his bed, untouched.

Neku was alone again. His mother had left him a parting gift -- a bowl of ramen and tea. Why was the woman so bipolar?

And why was Neku so horribly exhausted? Now that he thought of it, everything after the third hit seemed a pretty fuzzy -- which meant that... Neku had taken more than three hits!

That explained a lot...

"Headache, Neku dear~?"

Joshua leaned against Neku's bedroom wall, smiling deviously as he seemed to just... fade into existence. "I didn't think that you were a juvenile delinquent, but I suppose that first impressions can be wrong."

J-Joshua? Neku's stomach dropped at the voice -- he didn't even need that stupid guy's presence. His eyes, tired and serving as the windows to crankydom, narrowed as the teenager pulled his covers up just a bit higher.

"I'm not a -- hey! Quit judging me and get the hell out."

"I don't judge unfairly. You were participating in... questionable activities, my dear proxy~" Joshua lilted, taking a few easy steps towards Neku. "Needless to say, as soon as I saw, I knew that I had to have a little conference with you. Is it so wrong that I'm concerned about my favorite Shibuya-ite?"

"... Yes," Neku decided, peering at Joshua's feet from his futon. With a final huff, he pulled the blankets over his head, grabbing his body pillow as if that would protect him from the Composer.

Oh, his behaviour was priceless. He would have so much to tell his Producer upon his mandatory visit to the cafe today.

"Well, if your act isn't incriminating, your actions now certainly are~! Perhaps there's something that you're hiding from me?"

"I wanna sleep," Neku grumbled.

"No, not that." Joshua grabbed a fistful of the covers, throwing them off of his partner with surprising force. "Just what is it that you remember of yesterday, hm? Some activities involving the Daisukenojo boy?"

... Alright, that did it. Without acknowledging the Composer, Neku knocked on the wall beside him three times. He then curled back against his body pillow as though nothing were out of the ordinary.

Moments later, there was conspicuous stomping, getting closer and closer to Neku's door.

Joshua rose an eyebrow, quickly changing Frequencies so that he wouldn't be spotted.

Just as the door opened, tiny Midori's head swivelled about, her pigtails swatting the air.

"You missed it," Neku said, pulling the covers back onto his body. "There was a real ghost in here."

The little girl gasped. "A REAL GHOST? In broad daylight?! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh -- " She scrambled off, then came back with a tiny book, wandering into the boy's room and closing the door behind her out of habit. "I wonder what kind of ghost appears in broad daylight... do you have Butterfingers?"

It seemed as though the girl would be there a while.

Joshua got the point, but did not seem dejected over it. Quite the contrary, he whipped out his phone, sending Neku a quick text:

_just you wait, Neku dear, I'll get you to tell what happened~_

And with that the ashen-haired Composer exited.

Neku blinked at the phone and sighed. The smart thing to do would be to block the number... but that'd be too obvious. Instead, he added it to his contacts under "Private Dick Extraordinaire."

_I see what you did there, Neku~_

"Oh! Apparently they're really powerful ghosts," Midori mused, munching on the candy.

"Probably," Neku said, putting his phone down and ignoring it.

:-:-:

Beat woke, stretching out his limbs and yawning widely. Good sleep, weird sleep, sleep sleep, he didn't care. He felt rested enough. Without wondering if the other boy was even awake, Beat quickly speed-dialed Neku Sakuraba.

Neku's phone squeaked out its ring, vibrating about on the floor.

"Oh, ish dat yer girlfriend?" Midori said behind a mouth full of chocolate. "I'rreav you arone. Bye, Neku."

When the girl was out, the teenager grabbed the phone and ended the disturbance. "... Yeah?" he said dumbly, realizing that he hadn't even checked who was calling.

"Hey, man. You up?" Beat asked, noticing the onigiri on his bed and taking one in his free hand, taking a bite.

"I am now," Neku grumbled, messing with the ramen with his chopsticks. "What happened?"

"Nothin'. Mom got pissed, but Rhyme did some stuff, just gotta make sure that th' place is clean for a month. You?"

"Everyone yelled at me for being home late," Neku grumbled. "And then..." He was about to mention Joshua, but that probably wouldn't be the best idea. "Well, I'm grounded."

You could almost hear Beat wince through the phone. "How long, man?"

"Just the week..."

"Oh, well, tha's cool. Just gotta keep stuff on the downlow, right?" Beat asked, taking another bite of the rice ball.

"Yeah, but dad's watching me like a hawk," Neku sighed. "Apparently I'm dishonorable."

"'n apparently I'm insulated... or summin' like that, anyway. S' all th' same to me, yo. Just gotta take it all, right?" Beat said, attempting to sound philosophical and failing.

"Yeah..."

And then Neku felt awkward. What exactly had he done with his friend? How far did they go in their intoxicated antics?

"... I'll see you Monday."

"Aight, see you then." Beat said, waiting for Neku to hang up. The weekend was... well, it was fuzzy, yeah. He couldn't remember everything clearly.

The phone was quickly closed and tossed back onto the floor. The boy stared up at the ceiling, letting his thoughts wander and his ramen and tea become cold.

:-:-:

"Yo, Rhyme, you home?!" Beat yelled, too lazy to get up. Quick footsteps could be heard before his sister appeared at his doorstep.

"Um, was there something you needed?"

Beat looked up at her. "Did I do anything weird yesterday?"

Rhyme thought about the question. "Um, with Neku...? No, you guys seemed fine. You were talking a little oddly, but..."

Beat shook his head. "Aight. Well, uh... nevermind, then." He said, shrugging. Rhyme sighed, closing the door behind her.

:-:-:

"No, no, Kumada, you're still confusing your L's and R's!"

Neku rested his cheek on his bent arm, eyes barely open. English class always seemed to devolve into distinguishing between L's and R's, D's and TH's.

"Boring-ass shit, man," Beat said, one hand propping up his chin. Goddamn, even he knew this material.

The man in the front of the class sighed. "Alright, let's move on. Number four... Bito. Read the whole sentence, don't just have give us the answer to the blank."

"Aight. Uh..." Beat quickly found number four. "'The girl... thought... deeply about th' question.' That right?" He asked, looking up, wanting to get the spotlight turned on someone else.

"Yes, good," was the teacher's quick response. "Five?"

And so the class droned on and on. Neku began to doodle.

Beat quickly got out a small piece of scrap paper, jotting down a quick note.

_What time you gotta be home?_

_Five_, Neku scribbled back.

_Aight, I was gonna pick up some stuff at WildKat. If you got th' time, I can get you somethin_, He wrote back, careful not to attract the attention of the teacher.

Something fluttered inside of Neku at the thought of going to the WildKat with Beat... but he knew that that wouldn't be happening. At least not today. _No thanks, maybe another time._

Beat nodded, shooing away the slight twinge of disappointment at Neku's answer. _Aight, man, I'll hit ya' up another time._

"Alright, everyone get into groups of two and do activity eight."

Damn. Time to participate.

Beat rolled his eyes, looking towards Neku. "So, man, eight...?" He asked, looking for the assignment in his book.

Neku found it first. "'Based on the picture, have one person invite the other to something.' Wow, some directions." The model had a picture of a wedding cake, and then:

_'A: Will you come to my wedding?_

_B: Yes, what time is it?_

_A: Seven o clock._

_B: Okay, I will be there.'_

"... Corny."

Beat looked at the dialogue, one eyebrow raised. "So, uh, A and B, how's that gonna go?"

"Um... I'll be A?"

"Aight, I'll be B, then."

Neku eyed the first picture. "Will you... come to... my... birsuday party?"

Beat tilted his head, deep in concentration. "Yes, I wirr. What... time...? Time, is it?"

"Four o crock." Neku really hated oral activities.

"I wirr be dere." Beat sighed. "We done yet, man?"

"There's like three more," Neku grumbled. "Wirr you go tsu da... movies with... me?"

"Shiiiit," Beat grumbled under his breath, running one hand through his hair and getting the appropriate response. "Yes, I wirr go to de... movies...? Movies with you. What time?"

"Eight o crock... cllllllock."

"Eight o' cr--clock. See you den." Beat sighed. "Should we switch?"

"Uhh... yeah," Neku said. To think that it was only the first block of the day...

:-:-:

Lunch was awkward. Neku wasn't hungry; he was cold and uncomfortable.

"... Do you remember Friday?"

Beat drank his water, looking over at Neku through the corner of his eye. "Some of it. Why?"

"I... don't." Neku looked away, picking at beef with his chopsticks.

Beat put down his water bottle, facing Neku now. "... You really don't?"

"N-not really. After the third or fourth hit, everything kind of blurs over."

"O-oh." Beat said, uncharacteristically quiet. This was bad, yep. "Maybe you'll remember in a while?"

"I dunno, dude, I've been trying... maybe I shouldn't chase it," Neku decided.

"I-it'll come back." Beat said, crossing his arms and nodding. "I mean, I really don't remember that much either..."

But Beat did remember much more than Neku. The sensation of kisses, and lips where they shouldn't have been...

"Oh." Neku rested his cheek in his hand, still chasing around beef with his chopsticks. He couldn't say that he liked his grandmother's cooking very much -- because really, how well could you see into a pot in a wheelchair -- but what could he do?

"You, uh, probably don't wanna do it again after all 'a that, 'm I right?" Beat asked, a slight hint of dejection in his tone.

Neku looked up, eyes a bit unfocused. "Do what again?"

"Y'know. Smoke." Beat said, voice low.

"Oh." He blinked. "No, I liked it... but I can't remember what I did..."

Beat's face flushed. "Uh. Me neither." He said a little too quickly.

Neku quirked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Y-yeah." He said, averting his eyes. Dammit, why couldn't he wear his hat in school again?

"You remember something," Neku insisted. What was Beat hiding from him? How bad could it be?

"You, uh, really liked bein' close t' me is all." Beat said quickly, looking down.

"There's more, isn't there?" Neku said without even having to think.

"What we did was... it was kinda gay..." He mumbled, not even sure if Neku had heart him.

Neku blinked. "... Gay? Like... sparkly vampires gay?"

"Nah, bra, not that gay." Beat said, shaking his head. "I can't even remember wha' really happened, just... somethin' happened."

"Then how do you know if it was gay...?"

"Feelin's, man, flashes." Beat said, his voice bordering on cryptic.

Neku sighed, giving up. "Fine..."

Beat closed his eyes, opening a bag of chips. "Dunno, man. Dunno."

After a few moments, Neku closed his container and rested his chin on folded arms.

"... That ain't weird, is it?"

"What isn't?" Neku looked up a bit wistfully. He'd be damned if he didn't remember what happened -- it seemed to make Beat uncomfortable.

"Us... bein'... you know, in-intimate." He said, still looking away from Neku. "Not that we were, or anythin', not from what I remember."

"... Why are you thinking about it if... that didn't happen?" A bit of panic rose in Neku's voice. Intimate? If _Beat_ was using a word like 'intimate' instead of 'touchy-feely', then something _seriously _had happened on Friday!

"D-Dude--!" Beat put both his hands on the table. "This don't change anythin', man. Not gay. Nope."

Neku was sitting upright now -- well, as upright as a slouching teenager would sit. "What doesn't change anything? Why won't you tell me?"

"I... I just don't know what happened is all. It ain't nothin' big." Beat said, sitting down in his chair. "But if we do remember, wha's gon' happen?"

"I don't know. But you _do_ remember!" Neku was getting a bit agitated.

"Remember _what?"_ Beat asked, exasperated. "I remember _feelin's_, not what happened."

"So you had... _gay feelings_," Neku said flatly.

"Well... I dunno, s' like... like we did stuff, I just can't remember what it was we did." Beat said, clearly irritated with himself.

"... Alright then," Neku relented, resting his face on his arms again.

Beat felt the sensation of guilt wash over him. Goddamn, he always fucked things up.

The boy got fairly quiet. His eyes shut as his breath became even. Not a peep left him.

"Angry, man?" Beat asked, clearly brought down by the conversation.

Neku only let out a little sigh, stirring slightly.

"Aight," He said, closing his eyes. There was a few minutes before class, anyway.

:-:-:

"Eat," Neku's grandmother said. "It's getting cold. And don't expect me to throw it out if it get soggy! You teenagers and your wastefulness..."

Neku merely chased around udon noodles with his chopsticks, not really trying to grab them. There was no appetite in him, only a burning want to know what the hell he and Beat had done while they had been high.

"Your mother worked hard to make dinner." Neku's father continued where Grandma Sakuraba left off. "You could at least show your appreciation by eating some of it."

"Don't guilt him, Kosuke!" Neku's mother sighed.

"Eat it, Neku, or I'll feed you," Midori warned. Quickly, Neku took a bite.

It would be a long night.

:-:-:

The same question was tugging at Beat's mind at home, bugging him as he took a bite into too-greasy pizza. They had ordered out, again. Rhyme looked over at him, curious.

"Is something bothering you, Beat?" She asked, swallowing her bit of bread, cheese, and sauce. Beat shook his head.

"Nothin' I can really help. Don't worry 'bout it."

Stupid math. Neku would have much preferred drawing something.

121x^2 + 66x +11. Factoring... they were all just numbers... he could still work with that. Neku knit his brows together, thumb going in between his lips. The tip of his tongue pressed against it without his notice.

... That feeling was oddly familiar. It felt like --

A cock in his mouth, a hand stroking his hair and saying, "more," lips straining, moaning --

Oh God... that really _was _gay. That was _really fucking gay._

Neku didn't sleep that night.


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: TWEWY AND ALL AFFILIATED CHARACTERS DO NOT BELONG TO ME, BUT TO SQUAREENIX.**

**Cowritten with emotionalspazz (Neku).

* * *

**

Beat, on the other hand, slept relatively well, choosing to just let the memories come in on their own. What happened, happened. It couldn't have been that bad.

The day started with math this time. There was no way Neku could focus. There was no way he could put _anything_ into his mouth without thinking about... _that._

Beat was late that day to class; on the way to physics, he quickly sent a text message Neku's way.

_sry i'm l8, still up 4 lunch?_

Lunch. Eating... heh, eating. Things in his mouth -- ugh, no. Was he up for lunch? Could he face Beat?

_sure,_ was his reply.

_aight see you then, _Beat replied, slipping his phone in the pocket of his uniform before walking in his Physics class, to the displeasure of his teacher. Brushing off her threats of detention and other "bad things," Beat took his seat and feigned attention.

Over the course of the day, Neku could do nothing but sleep in his classes. Even art class barely kept him awake. What was a sleepless boy to do? And _how_ was he going to tell Beat what he remembered?

... _Was _he going to tell him?

:-:-:

It... it was strange. The other boy wasn't texting. Something seemed wrong, somehow. But Beat didn't push the issue; after all, Neku had harder classes. Maybe there were tests or something.

Lunch.

Luuuuunch.

Doom. Maybe Beat could seek him out today... and after a few minutes, Beat did exactly that.

"Hey, man. What's goin' on? You look, uh, down..." He said, eyeing Neku's face.

"Didn't sleep well," Neku mumbled.

"Somethin's on your mind," Beat said accusingly. "C'mon, le's go sit somewhere."

Reluctantly, Neku followed his friend, not really looking where they were going.

A stairwell. A stairwell was fine, and this was the lunch hour anyway... not like they were bothering anyone. Beat sat down upon the steps, taking out a sandwich. "Tell me wha's eatin' at ya, Phones." He said, looking towards the brunette.

Without even thinking, Neku blurted, "I-I remembered! Well, part of it anyway... w-what happened."

With that, Beat leaned forward, eyes wide. "Well, what'cha waitin' for? Tell me, man!"

Instinctively -- embarrassingly! -- Neku shied back. "W-well it's... it's kinda..."

"Kinda what?" Beat asked, confused. "Can't be that bad, right?"

"... It's... gay," Neku sighed.

"... Gay." Beat repeated, still wanting to know what the hell happened.

"I-I remember your -- in my -- oh, nevermind. Screw it. It's better if we both forget it."

Beat looked up at him. "Phones. Tell me what happened." He said, dark eyes staring directly into those of his friend.

"I-I just... I just remember..." Neku looked away. "I remember giving you..." He covered his face and finished in barely a whisper, "... head."

Beat's face seemed to go slack. "Y-you gave me head...?" He muttered, able to see how that coincided with what he remembered but not really _believing _it.

"I-It might've been a-a-a-a-a delusion!" Neku decided, looking up at the ceiling. "Yeah. Vivid imagination."

"... No, Phones, no. It ain't." Beat said, looking away and suddenly feeling shame wash over him in waves. "That... that prob'ly happened."

Silence... suffocating silence fell upon them for a few agonizingly slow minutes.

"... So... now what?"

"... You gon' let this change stuff between us? 'Cause I ain't." Beat said softly, thinking over his words with caution.

"... Yeah," Neku sighed. "I mean -- no, no I'm not."

Beat managed to smile. "Uh... anythin' else come t' you?"

"No," Neku said quickly, as though he had been anticipating the question. Had he?

"Ah, aight then," Beat said, holding one arm across his chest. Something was tugging at his memory, but what? He couldn't really place it...

... Well, this was awkward. Neku wasn't sure how easy things would be between them now.

Beat looked up at him, one eye closed. "Wait, nobody been botherin' you, right?"

"Nah," Neku said without thinking.

"Good, good. But seriously, man..." Beat faltered for a moment before saying what was on his mind. "Don't be afraid to tell me stuff, aight? We're friends, das' it."

_Don't be afraid to tell me stuff._ Neku's heart fluttered a bit at that. He liked the idea of being close to Beat... but how close?

Neku was _not_ gay.

"Alright."

"We cool," Beat said, ruffling Neku's hair, grinning.

:-:-:

After scribbling down satisfactory assignments, Neku tossed aside his books and rested his head on his desk for a break. As an afterthought, he turned off his music. It was rather soothing when it was quiet, except for the buzzing of the refrigerator in the kitchen.

"Well, Neku, here you are, the midst of denial~"

"Wha --" Neku blinked, body shooting upright, disoriented. Well, there went the quiet.

Joshua stood at Neku's door, arms crossed, smiling serenely. "You didn't think that this would just blow over, would you?"

"I was hoping you'd mind your own business," Neku seethed.

"Your business is my business," Joshua lilted, sitting down next to the teenager. "After all, you do take residence in Shibuya. I just like checking in on you from time to time. You have so much untapped potential, after all~"

"Checking in and being nosy are two different things," Neku grumbled, not looking at the Composer.

"But your Music, it entices me so~!" Joshua said, mock-swooning, one hand up to his forehead. "Especially when it's as quick and harried as it has been of late," He added as an afterthought, the smirk on his face both devious and knowing.

"You're such a creep," Neku sighed.

"You're so gay, and you don't even like boys~" Joshua teased, singing under his breath. He loved to unravel him like this.

"W-- ugh. Just for listening to that woman, you're gayer," Neku snapped.

"At least I'm not in denial," Joshua said smugly, smirking to high heaven.

"I'm not, either," Neku said. "There's nothing to deny. Why the hell does it matter to you anyway?"

"I just want you to be _happy_, Neku dear." Joshua said, frowning. "And if you saw the look on your face, the look in your eyes, as you serviced your best friend... Oh, I would call that infatuation of the _highest order._" Joshua said, brushing his hand through ashen locks.

"Y -- you --" Neku's eyes narrowed. "_Watched_?! Don't you have anything better to do?!" Anger coiled in his stomach, mingling with illness. "That is just -- you -- you're a voyeur!"

Joshua put on a look of hurt, eyes still narrowed, looking for the most part taken aback. "Oh, please. Your Music was spiking so much, how could I ignore it? At least I didn't detract from that little adventure of yours." A small curl of his lips accompanied his words. "Keep it up, and Sanae might know of your deeds, Neku~ You best be _nice _to me."

Neku's eyes widened, stomach sinking. Mr. Hanekoma was the _last _person Neku wanted to know about this.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?! Is _killing me twice_ not enough for you?"

"You're still upset over that? Let things go, Neku dear." Joshua reprimanded. "And don't worry. I won't be telling our favorite barista anytime soon."

"... Let things go. It's been two months." Neku grabbed his English book, stood, and made his way to the door. "Get out of my house!" He left it open as he departed, deciding to go into the living room where is grandmother was knitting. At least_ she_ didn't let go of murder so easily, as irritating as she was.

Joshua cast a smug look towards Neku's back before switching Frequencies, smiling to himself; oh, Sanae would eat this up, yes he would.


End file.
